Updated: Jan 24
How long takes you to recover from a shattered heart? Maybe it is an unknown, which lies within your unconsciousness. It tells you it is not so bad to stay with the memories.
"That's right, sometimes hell is us..
Sometimes we are the cause of our difficulties. And if we can step out of our own way, something astonishing happens."
- Lori Gottlieb , the writer of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
I always blame myself who gives too much praise to my own emotion, especially the sacred word of AMOUR. There are a few sections of this book I feel enlightened, plus I will add some of my comments under each section, so let us begin the journey of the war between emotional control and nostalgic inclination.
In the Navel of the Moon, 2008
Chromogenic dye-coupler print
Therapy With A Condom On:
Of course, anger serves another function, it pushes people away and keeps them from getting close enough to see you.
I honestly admit that I am always always always angry because my expectation is way too high, or sometimes is as creative as my imagination. When I discover that the way I could express my opinion towards the closest person is through expressing the true side of myself, BOOM! How horrible I am!!! How terrified people catch my emotional swing. The most hilarious phenomenon is that, the one who really loves and cares you would never leave you alone despite seeing your MONSTER look. In fact, this is absolutely not fair for them to embrace your impertinent wordings or even unmannerly gestures.
Anger is the best weapon for us to shelter ourselves as well the worst weapon to camouflage our true disappointment.
Untitled Flower #13, 2001
Hahnemuhle Photo Rag Matte Paper with Epson archival quality ink
40 × 40 in Edition of 25
The Future Is Also the the Present:
There is a continuing decision to be made as to whether to evade pain, or to tolerate it and therefore modify it.
There is an overwhelming sensations lying within my blood vessels, hearing each movement as thousands of bubbles pushing out instantly. The future is the every passes of the present, while the present is a continuous decision making process. Every second we cannot evade the pain if we consider every second lasts 1 year that causes us to be always inside the pain (How many of us are in those ambiguous relationships on and off that last for ages long?) , I guess that is the best way to explain why most of us can hardly recover from the soreness. Well, how good am I or will you be able to treat 1 second as literally 1 second scientifically approved?
Yellow Iris, Close View, 2011
Archival inkjet photograph
Without Memory Or Desire:
People want to be understood and to understand, but for most of us, our biggest problem is that we don't know what our problem is. We keep stepping in the same puddle. Why do I do the very thing that will guarantee my own unhappiness over and over again?
Still remembering the question pops up to my mind after a LOVE relationship, have I fallen in love with the person? Or I have convinced myself to fall in love with the inventive love? How pathetic this question it is! Exactly that is the pain to be inflicted on myself, stop posing this ridiculous question as time has passed 1,2,3, or even 6 years, the past has become a history, which will never be reversed nor be recorrected. The lesson I have always learnt is that NO ONE CAN EVER TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOUR EMOTION other than you realise you can guarantee yours at the foremost.
Between Bears Ears and Daneros Mine, 2018
Chromogenic Dye Coupler Print
The First Confession:
Happiness equals reality minus expectations.
Apparently, you can make people happy by delivering bad news and then taking it back (which, personally, would just make me mad)
I would always always always fight for the love I believe in, at least at this moment I have been so clearly understanding what I do not want. GOOD PROGRESS?! Happiness is the learning process by standing at a right balance between present and the future, time will always heal and fade away the sensitivities we used to have. Believe it or not, writing all these feelings out made me realise I have been tasting all these tears and laughters, therefore I have lived so realistically passionate.
Maybe it is time for you to talk to someone! Send me a comment under the box and I cannot wait to know your feeeeeelings!